If there is one thing we already know about happiness, it’s that it’s not a destination but a by-product of how we live each moment of our life.
Simply put, a happy day could make a happy life.
While what constitutes happiness may be different for each person, an important step toward being happy is knowing what makes us unhappy.
Here is my personal list of things that deplete my happiness meter.
Being unproductive
Procrastinating
Eating unhealthful food
Overspending/wasting money
Over-consuming social media
Not keeping track of my daily activities
Not achieving what I set out to do
Forcing connection with people who don’t want me in their lives
Being inauthentic
Giving in to distractions
Meanwhile, here are some of the things that give me a sense of satisfaction.
Getting people together
Completing a project or task
Eating healthfully
Spending below or within my means
Using the internet with intention
Planning the day ahead and reflecting on the day that passed
Spending time with cats or dogs
Spending time with people I truly connect with
Being true to myself — living with integrity
Getting into flow by managing distractions
Going on long walks
Traveling; spending time in nature
Being aware of what makes us unhappy and happy leads to a simple yet powerful action — doing more of what gives us joy, and doing less of what does not.
There’s no better time to be happy than now. Choose it, no matter your circumstance.
Happiness: the feeling of peace, acceptance, fulfillment, truth and presence.
This is a story of my brief but memorable encounter with a guy named D**.
Who I met on Grindr.
Yes, where people ‘shop’ for sex.
Judge me now.
In summary, this is what the whole ride looked like.
1st meeting – Mind-blowing sex
2nd – Sex was just as awesome as the first.
3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th – Unlimited cuddles, Netflix, great sex
7th – Weekend lunch and grocery shopping
8th – Weekend lunch and long walks
9th – Hangout with awkward silence
10th – Thank you. I care about you. Bye for now.
D** was clear about not wanting to get into anything serious from the very beginning.
He was honest about the possibility of continuing to meet other guys on Grindr for casual fun in spite of that special little thing that was going on between us.
I was fine with it. I appreciated his honesty, and thought I wasn’t sure I wanted anything serious either.
But then the more time we spent together, the stronger my feelings became. I started caring about him genuinely, seeing him in a special way, and wishing we were always together.
I’m not sure what that was but it could have been infatuation or something close to this crazy thing called ‘lurve’.
Big problem, obviously. Investing in someone who’s not as invested in me. One-way street. Unreciprocated. Misaligned.
And so I had to make a decision — to walk away, for now.
September 8, 9PM
Me: Hey. If you have time before bed, can I call for 5 minutes?
Him: Sure.
The Call
Me: Hey. Thanks for taking my call. This is probably the toughest and most candid conversation I’ll have with you but I’ll give it a shot. Are you ready for honesty?
Him: Honestly, I don’t think so.
Me: It’s alright. I think you’ll be fine with hearing what I have to say.
Him: Okay.
Me: What I have to say has three parts. First one being the opening remarks (laughs).
First, I’d like to thank you for the time you’ve spent with me. In the short time I’ve known you, I’ve come to know someone who’s honest, no-frills, uncomplicated and unafraid to be vulnerable.
Thank you for sharing bits and pieces of your past, no matter how painful it was talking about it. Thank you for trusting me with something personal.
Now, this part is where I jump off a cliff. The more time I’ve spent with you, the stronger my feelings have become. Not sure where and how it started but that’s where I am right now.
I believe this is not unusual considering the intimacy we’ve built, but I’m terrified by the fact that you might not feel the same, and that I might only fall deeper if I were to continue seeing you when I know I have nothing to expect.
It’s been a while since I last dated, and I’m practically unfamiliar with this feeling at this point.
So, here comes the third part: my solution. I figured that the best thing to do for now is to give myself space by keeping a safe distance between you and me.
You might have noticed that I’ve stopped calling you babe these past few days. Those were baby steps toward this.
I think I need to reflect on how I’m feeling, guard my heart, and stop seeing you for now. That way, I also don’t make you feel like I’m putting pressure on you, because that’s certainly not the intention.
I just need to change the context of how we relate to each other. When we’re alone together, I can’t help but hug and kiss you. I can’t afford to continue doing that because that would mean pretending nothing’s going on inside me.
So there, this is like my little goodbye. But I want to tell you how wonderful the ride has been. I have nothing but great memories of you.
Him: ____________________________
Him: If that’s what you feel is best for you right now, I would understand.
I thank you as well for the time you gave me. I appreciate all your efforts, your thoughtfulness, and everything you’ve done for me.
Please don’t ever think that I don’t care. It’s just that…
Naubos ako sa last relationship ko [of 7 years], and I made a vow to myself to focus on me, to grow, and to stop disappointing my family moving forward.
Pagod na pagod kase talaga ko. Wala nang natira sa puso kong desire to be in another relationship regardless if its been 2 years since the last one ended.
That’s why I was very clear from the start.
Me: Yes, and I appreciate that so much. You could have led me on but you didn’t, and for that, you forever have my respect.
Him: Yeah, too old para magpaligoy-ligoy. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from my own journey, it’s that you should always put yourself first. Dun ako naubos e, because I gave it my all and left nothing for me. So one piece of advice: think of your own feelings more than the other person’s.
You are super mature for being able to pull off this conversation. You’ve clearly grown given your honesty right now.
Me: Thank you, I feel super accomplished. My initial plan was just to walk away without saying goodbye but that would have been bastos.
Him: But Rob, thanks for everything. I really appreciate it. All your efforts, your time, your thoughtfulness.
Me: You’re welcome. It’s been great. Nothing but great memories I will cherish. You will forever have a special place in my heart. Thanks for indulging me and good night!
There’s one lesson the most celebrated gay-themed film of 2017 wishes to teach us.
Actually, there’s a number of wonderful lessons in this gem of a film. Allow me to sum up what I think is the most important one through these words:
Love is special. Love is beautiful. Some love ends. Some love endures. If destiny ever decides that love is meant to end rather than last till the end, it’s not to be regretted.
Cry, grieve, laugh. Mourn the loss of the love that once ruled your heart, but never regret it.
For this life is a journey; a collection of awful and beautiful chapters. That love may not be the destination, but still, it happened. It’s to be treasured, to be looked back on, but never to be regretted.
My heart screams with joy as I can now see very clearly why the movie has been getting insane raves all over the world. It’s a beautiful masterpiece, and that’s saying the least.
Here are five more reasons you should watch CALL ME BY YOUR NAME.
1. Director Luca Guadagnino refuses to indulge viewers with sexually explicit scenes to prove a point. Everything is subtle and sensual, but that doesn’t take away the intensity of the required emotions or leave a feeling of uncomfortable restraint.
Guadagnino’s sensitivity puts a stop to the misconception that gay films need to be porn-ish to be talked about.
2. Elio’s parents teach us that acceptance comes from two places: One is empathy, where we accept people because we have been where they are, or we know someone so well that we’ve come to understand where they’re coming from. The other is unconditional love, where we accept people simply because we love them. No reasons, no explanations, we just love them.
3. Several parts of the film had me in tears, but the one that made me bawl my eyes out was that conversation between Elio and his father. It’s in this scene that an unspoken truth is finally put out in the open, and a long-lived secret is revealed. You’d hate me for throwing spoilers in your way, so let me just say “watch out”.
4. Timothée Chalamet‘s performance as Elio is a tour de force. That scene where he had to watch as distance grows bigger between him and Oliver (Armie Hammer) is as moving as it is heartbreaking. And oh, even before that, the look he gives Oliver as he hops on the train was too poignant for words. That’s the face of a lover whose heart is about to explode but is left with no choice but to put a no-worries-I-will-be-just-fine front.
I was so moved I wanted to do a standing O, but that would have been premature, not to mention embarrassing.
5. Armie Hammer is sexy as hell. He’s almost as sexy as the artifacts he and Professor Perlman “categorized” in one of the scenes. He excels at portraying Oliver as well: the confident, carefree, and nonchalant subject of 17-year-old Elio’s affection. Although Timothée’s scenes demand a wider spectrum of emotions, Armee triumphantly brings a believable and wickedly charming Oliver to life.
I could go on with more reasons CALL ME BY YOUR NAME — which is by the way an adaptation of André Aciman‘s 2007 novel of the same title — is a must-watch. But I’ll leave the pleasurable job of putting those to words up to you.
Thank you for your masterful direction, Luca. Thank you for the beautiful story, André.
Sundays are usually plain and boring. I wake up late in the afternoon, eat lunch, go to church, and spend the rest of the day worrying that tomorrow is Monday yet again.
Yesterday was entirely different though. My Cebu-based friend Celine invited me to come with her to reminisce her wonderful college days at UP Diliman.
We spent nearly two hours exploring the quaint and serene campus blessed with majestic trees. Celine gave me a tour of the buildings, which was as fun as it was informative. In between our strolls, we had the famous Rodic’s Tapa for lunch, some dirty ice cream sandwich, buko juice, and green mango with bagoong.
It was part of the plan to visit Maligaya so we got an Uber and headed for the well-loved foodie destination. We had Autumn Tea at ZenTea which was surprisingly good, then went to explore other food spots after chatting for more than half an hour.
The next place we visited caught us by surprise: The Wander Space. It’s a lovely shop with tons of cute novelty stuff like journals, work boards, postcards, stationary, stickers, leathers goods, and accessories for ladies. They also sell caps, and swim wears. The accommodating lady said the store houses products from budding entrepreneurs, hence the variety of brands.
I fell in love with a handful of things but ended up with a cute organizer bag and a postcard bearing a wonderful message. Celine got pretty bracelets for her friends.
The Wander Space also houses a cute little café whose adornments speak to the heart of travellers — ‘wanderers’ for that matter. The barista guy who prepared our heavenly bowls of creamy lasagna and refreshing brewed cacao iced tea was genuinely warm and friendly. Our food got me too excited it didn’t cross my mind to take a picture.
We stayed at the café for more than an hour, chatting, snapping pictures of its pretty angles, and going through their selection of coffee bags. Celine got herself a pack of Robusta, which the equally friendly female attendant said has more caffeine but is less acidic than Baraco.
We capped off our day-off with a Grab ride back to Katipunan where we hopped on the LRT to Cubao (for me) and V. Mapa (for Celine). I learned that there’s a 5:00 PM mass in Gateway so I went ahead and attended.
It was a Sunday well spent feeding my soul with a long leisurely stroll, a friend’s company, good food, and of course, God’s words.
Sundays are perfect for exploring Manila because of the conveniently light traffic.
Remember the bag that I won at the office raffle? The shoulder strap gave up at the Manila airport (damn I hadn’t even reached Taipei yet), rendering it unusable. As I had to travel across cities in Taiwan, keeping it would have been burdensome. As a result, I ended up buying a trolly in Ximending (slaps face for the unexpected expense). If it’s any consolation though, I got it from the store that sells it the cheapest — of course I shopped around to check prices.
Now at the Taipei Airport during check-in. The trolly, with its content, weighs a total of 9.9 kg. Almost automatically, the guy at the counter filled out a small slip, handed it to me, and asked me to pay NT$1200. Yes, the bag needed to be checked in because it’s overweight, obviously.
I wanted to teleport, not in disbelief, but because I knew this was going to happen.
But I gotta try something.
So I explained the whole story of how I had exactly just 7 kilos when I checked in for my flight to Taipei — thanks to the super light gym bag — and the inauspicious fate of the now demised raffle prize I ever so proudly bragged about on my Facebook Wall.
But the guy was adamant about making me pay. He asked if I had a credit card; I said I didn’t. He then asked if I had peso bills I could swap for NT$ so I could pay; I said I had only enough for a cab ride home.
With a gentle remorseful tone — like I’m the most kind, innocent, sinless person on all the earth — I looked him in the eye and apologized for two things: One, for exceeding the carry-on limit, and two, for not having enough money on me to pay.
Then a ‘miracle’ happened. The guy tore the paper, looked at me and said, “Alright, next time you’ll have to take care of your excess baggage.”
Oh. My. Gosh.
All I could afford to say was, “Thank you so much; appreciate it. I’m really sorry for the trouble.”
I walked away relieved, but guilty for having gotten away with a penalty AirAsia had all the right to impose on me. The truth is I have money stored somewhere, but couldn’t withdraw any as the debit card it’s in is neither Visa not MasterCard (blessing in disguise, BPI EPS?).
The lesson? When AirAsia says 7 kilos, they mean 7 kilos. Again, they mean 7 kilos! Buy some baggage allowance when booking a flight with them or pay twice to thrice the cost at the counter.
To you, Kuya, thanks for buying in to my “sad bag story”. I mean, none of it was a lie, so that’s probably why it worked.
Now that I have two trollies, Imma raffle off the old one. Ay, my Nanay won. Ahahaha
After having read reviews from unimpressed moviegoers and critics, I was prepared to get disappointed in ALL OF YOU. I went to see it anyway because I’m a huge Jennylyn Mercado fan, and the idea of skipping her latest MMFF entry felt unsettling.
Boy was I surprised.
Let’s get one thing straight: ALL OF YOU is a love story, but isn’t the kind that’s meant to make one’s heart go aflutter with the idea of a happily ever after. Instead, it aims to tackle the uncomfortable realities that surround a relationship between two people once they have gone past what’s known as the “honeymoon stage”.
Did it succeed? With conviction, I’d say yes.
The story — despite the lack of big moments that are typically brought about by a gripping conflict and a climactic resolution — is smooth-flowing, honest, and affecting. The plot’s simplicity allows it to make a crystal clear point with regard to the ugly truths people in a relationship inevitably have to deal with as they grow more familiar with each other.
As expected, Jen and Derek deliver powerful, excellent performances in the film. Both attacked their scenes with maturity and rawness while doing away with the histrionics. That one scene where they got off the car and had a terrible fight was just satisfying to watch, albeit painful. I don’t remember ever crying watching a couple fight, but this one had me shedding tears.
If you’re in a relationship and think it might be for the long haul, you may want to give ALL OF YOU a shot. I won’t guarantee you’ll be entertained, but a lesson or two can definitely be learned.
Most Filipinos visiting Taiwan would instinctively opt for Taipei as their sole destination. That’s quite practical considering most budget airlines only fly to the capital city. Besides, there’s enough to see and do in Taipei not even five full nights there would be perfectly enough.
I visited Taiwan for the first time in August of 2017, and spent an entire week in Taipei. To say I had so much fun (under the sun, literally) would be an understatement.
For my second visit though, I thought I’d go somewhere I have yet to see. And so I explored down south.
The decision to visit Kaohsiung — instead of spending all of my twelve-day holiday exclusively in Taipei — proved to be a great one.
While it may be true that it’s less bustling (less vibrant, if you will) than its more popular brother Taipei, KH showed me wonders I absolutely enjoyed.
The Love River was a perfect spot to just sit and breathe the cool winter breeze on my first night in the city.
For day 2, I had the most relaxing time and an opportunity to witness a stunning sunset on Ciji Island. Biking around the beautiful place while admiring the breathtaking view of the beach felt like a dream.
Seeing pictures of the Lotus Lake while planning my itinerary got me really excited, and the lovely spot in Zouying district certainly didn’t disappoint. The Dragon & Tiger Pagodas, the enormous statue of the God of War, and the lake itself made for a refreshing evening stroll.
Day 4 was a side trip to Tainan – Taiwan’s oldest city. Almost every person I talked to about my plan of spending a day there only had good things to say about the quaint, historic destination.
True enough, Tainan felt and looked nothing like Taipei or Kaohsiung. There was a more pronounced atmosphere of culture and history that was readily noticeable as soon as I got off the train. There was likewise quite a number of elderlies and foreigners (Vietnamese, Filipinos, Indonesians) resting in Tainan Park. One could easily tell that life there is a lot simpler and a bit less fast-paced.
One spot worth mentioning is the famous Anping Old Street, where Tainan’s most festive food and shopping stalls were on a league of its own. There were a handful of Chinese temples all around, too. I had a fantastic time just getting lost in the huge busy crowd and eating to my heart’s content. Tainan’s fried stinky tofu was insanely good!
My last full day started a little late as I wasn’t up until 1:30 PM (dozed off for ten hours!). After grabbing lunch at a Japanese fastfood, I went on to spend the afternoon at the Pier 2 Art Center. The artistic outdoor installations made what used to be an abandoned warehouse station a unique art park. From there, I took the light rail to Dream Mall where I had dinner, then capped the evening at Lihue Night Market for dinner – round two (haha).
Of course no day in any Taiwanese city is complete without a trip to the night market, so you bet I never missed a visit to Ruifeng or Lihue at the end of each day. There were even days I visited both! I shall be dreaming of the unbelievably cheap xiao long bao, savory fried rice, sticky fish nuggets noodle soup, and the smoky takoyaki when I’m back home.
Now on the bullet train on my way back to Taipei, taking with me memories of five wonderful days in Kaoshiung City.
This has got to be the most thought-provoking present I received for the holidays. I had no idea I wasn’t so sure of what freedom truly means until I found myself puzzled by this little bird lying on my desk.
I tried defining ‘freedom’ to the best of my wits, but felt that my definiton was a little too superficial.
So I turned to the internet, typed “What does it mean to be truly free?”
I’m posting it in hopes of sharing the opportunity to assess how free we truly are.
15 Signs You’re A Truly Free Person
1. You dread nothing.
2. Your habits serve you, not harm you.
3. You make your own decisions.
4. You are full of energy.
5. You believe in your abilities.
6. You are financially comfortable.
7. You ask for help from others – free people are not governed by pride.
8. You have free time.
9. You know yourself – you don’t live by others’ standards.
10. You are independent – you don’t feel unstable when you’re alone.
11. You are physically healthy.
12. You laugh.
13. You fulfil your needs.
14. You don’t let others hold you back.
15. You have fun.
So, how much freedom are you enjoying? Do you have other definitions of freedom that’s not on the list? Feel free to share!
Thanks to my office mate, Ms. Herms. This may have been a random pick at a gift shop, but it got me thinking. ❤️
Dev Patel describes his latest Oscar-nominated film as a ‘beautiful life anthem’, and I couldn’t agree with him more.
LION (2016), adapted from Saroo Brierley‘s autobiography ‘A Long Way Home’, centers around the journey of a young Indian boy who gets lost thousands of miles away from home. He spends nights on the streets, survives hunger, escapes child predators, and finds a new home in the arms of a compassionate Australian couple. He then spends the next twenty-five years putting the missing pieces of his life together.
For its genre, LION is in no way preachy and over-dramatic. The noteworthy performances of its cast — particularly Sunny Pawar, Dev Patel and Nicole Kidman — combined with Director Garth Davis‘ compelling storytelling make for a gloriously uplifting tale that tugs at your heartstrings. It’s truthful, terrifying and painful, but eventually leads to a beautiful conclusion worth relishing.
While we may have seen other films on inspiring life journeys, one theme that’s tackled in the narrative sends out a rather refreshing perspective on adoption. When the grown-up, troubled Saroo (Patel) tells his mother (Kidman), “Sorry you couldn’t have your own kids. We weren’t even blank pages (referring to him and his likewise adopted brother), like your own would have been,” he hears words of revelation that would forever change how he feels about his life. This, for me, is the most pivotal part of the story; the most poignant line in the script:
“I could have had kids, but we chose not to have kids. The world has enough people in it. Have a child, couldn’t guarantee it will make anything better. But to take a child that’s suffering as you were, give you a chance in the world… that’s something.”
It was after this moment that Saroo gets the ultimate resolve to track down his real family. Thanks to sleepless nights spent on Google Earth, he finally learns where his life began – a tiny town called Ganesh Talai he had been saying wrong (Ganestlay) the whole time.
His trip back home makes a beautifully uplifting resolution, evoking joyful tears that may trickle down your face for minutes nonstop. Call me a crybaby, but I spent roughly three minutes post credits soaking my pillow in tears.
LION could have easily won best picture in the Academy, but perhaps, MOONLIGHT’s bolder, more unorthodox theme had a better “timely appeal”. That, however, doesn’t make this masterpiece of a film less extraordinary.
Rarely do I feel like watching a movie again no matter how much I loved it. LION is an exception — I wanted a rerun the moment credits started rolling.
The Galaxy Note 7 has completely changed the way I look at Samsung. The brand has upped the ante in ways I didn’t think it could. Here are 7 reasons why I might finally take a rest from being an Xperia and HTC fanboy.
1. The Note 7 is big but is in no way cumbersome. The symmetrical build not only makes the device a looker but also makes for a very comfortable grip. It’s one hell of a beautiful phablet!
2. TouchWiz, the ugliest Android skin in my opinion, has been refined and now looks pretty clean. I find this hard to believe but Samsung has turned around what used to be a painfully terrible UI and the result is more than enough to make me stop bashing them.
3. Expandable storage on top of 64GB native memory capacity is plain impressive. If you think that’s an overkill, the microSD slot doubles as another SIM card tray so it’s a win-win.
4. The device is IP68 certified which means you can take pictures and even sketch or write notes in the pool. You can even use the S-Pen underwater, although I’m not sure why you’d wanna do that.
5. The camera is the best camera on any Samsung device ever. Period.
6. Samsung makes great screens and the one on the Note 7 is no exception. In fact, critics dub it as the best display on any mobile device to date. Personally, I’m surprised to see how the AMOLED panel produces more natural colors now, contrary to its oversaturated nature.
7. As to be expected from a top-of-the-line handset, the power-packed Exynos processor makes multi-tasking a breeze. No lags, no long waits in between transitions, no wanting to throw your phone away. It’s the dream of any power user!
Galaxy S2 was the last Samsung phone I bought and actually liked. With the Note 7’s fantastic offering, it might just be worth going back to Sammy’s camp after five years of skepticism.
Robbie's Random Ramblings 